OFFICIANTS

I’m often asked whether clergy or officiant should be invited to the rehearsal dinner or the reception.  This is up to you, of course, but here are a few guidelines.  1) If the officiant is a professional marriage officiant that you have hired (i.e., rent-a-revs, retired judges) then it’s not necessary to invite them to the festivities.  2) However, if the officiant is a friend of the family or the pastor/rabbi of the church/temple you regularly attend, then an invitation is appropriate.

Couples often inquire about payment for officiants.  When you’ve hired a professional officiant their fees are laid out in advance, and that is all that’s required – no tipping expected.  If your ceremony takes place in an institution where you are not a member, the fee structure will probably also be laid out.  Paying the amount listed is all that’s required.  If you intend to join this church/temple after you are wed, it would be nice, but not required, to make a donation as well.

Finally, if it’s your home church/temple you’ll likely be required to pay a nominal fee for use of the facilities and to compensate the professionals associated with your wedding (organist, acolytes, custodian, etc.).  However, there may not be a specific fee listed for your officiant.  If that’s the case, then it’s appropriate to pay your officiant for their services.  That amount is typically $200 -- $400.

WHEN TO TIP

When and how much to tip baffles many couples. For most professionals (photographer, florist, DJ, band, etc.) the fee they charge is adequate compensation. However, it is generally expected that hairdressers, barbers, and make-up artists will be tipped whether they are providing on-site service or service in their salon.

Your reception site or caterer likely has a gratuity percentage built in – which can range from 18 – 23%. It that is the case, the gratuity they charge should adequately compensate the wait staff. However, if they do not build in a gratuity then you should add that on – according to your level of satisfaction. A range of 15 – 20% is acceptable and should be based on the food & beverage amount, excluding any rental items they provided for

you (i.e., chairs, linens, china).

However, if a professional renders incredibly excellent service or “goes above and beyond the call of duty” then a tip is an appropriate thanks. In other words, if the band is the best you’ve ever heard and the dance floor is packed all night, then a tip is a great way to thank them. If your limo driver jump starts your new father-in-law’s car, then a tip is appropriate!

Certainly money is a great way to tell any professional that you appreciated their service. But sending a sincere thank you note and photo from your wedding is also very much appreciated by vendors. Regardless of whether you send a note, tip your vendors or do nothing, it is reasonable to expect your professionals will perform well and live up to the terms of their contracts without the added inducement of a tip.